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Main article: Saying no

The Power of Saying No – Why You Should Say it More Often

saying no

Historically, I’ve always been a yes woman. I’ve said yes to a year abroad in Provence aged 19, yes to living in Madrid and Santiago in my 20s, yes to risk-taking, challenge and a life of new adventures that always promises more. And yet, it was only when I started my own business in my early 30s that I began to realize that the word no might be just as useful, too. On the face of it, no doesn’t have as much power as yes. It feels negative, perhaps a bit defeatist and seems to fly in the face of […]

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aug 26, 18:03
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The Science Behind Why You Should Stop Saying You’re Bad At Your Job

bad at your job

There is an old mantra that many of us use when starting a new job, or entering a new situation: “Fake it until you make it.” It’s good advice—but not for the reason many of us think. Faking it until you make it isn’t about pretending like you’re good and hoping no one notices until you become good. It means that by faking it, you become better at what you are doing. And you convince not just yourself, but others, of that same result. Except for the overachievers, many of us have a tendency to downplay our abilities. We are […]

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jun 26, 22:00
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Why You Need To Learn To Say No

saying no say no

When we’re at work, we usually want to please people and help out our colleagues as best we can in order to make a good impression. That means that even when helping others starts to have a negative impact on our own work and happiness, it can be difficult to say no. It might seem awkward at first, but learning why, how and when to say no in the workplace can make all the difference when it comes to experiencing office stress and office serenity. Why say it Wanting to help people out is natural and, for the most part, […]

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nov 13 17, 17:00
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Be Confident: Smile and Say Thank You!

thank-you- german pixy

Lucinda is an excellent marketer, confident in her abilities. She knows her products, her market, her customers and her competition incredibly well. She’s creative and energetic, with a passion for her products that shows in everything she does. Lucinda is quite successful. She wins office awards for brand performance, and publicly thanked by managers and peers. But Lucinda hates the public recognition. Why? Because she hates saying thank you! Saying thank you, graciously accepting credit for what you have accomplished, is an important skill. When you say, ‘it was nothing’ or ‘anyone could have done it’ you undermine your own value. Was […]

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jul 5 17, 20:13
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It’s Okay to Say No

If you’re anything like me, you’ve got a full schedule. Full of work, fitness classes, time with my husband, volunteer commitments, and time out with my friends. For many years I was a “yes” gal. You asked, I made time to do it. You asked, I shifted things around to fit it in. I gave up available time (usually time at home) that I really couldn’t afford to lose. I wore myself ragged.

And why? Because of #FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out). Because I felt like I had to please everyone. Because I wanted people to know I could be helpful.

And I was helpful. (Too helpful sometimes.) And I did please people. (At the expense of my health and sanity.) And I still missed out on opportunities. (Because there are more concerts to go to and boards to sit on than I can possibly do on my own.)

In the past few years, I’ve been working to change this. I recently received a solid piece of advice from a friend who said, “Be respectful of your time.”

It seemed so simple. Such a “wow” idea.

And I understand what he meant. Saying no is generally seen as aggressive. People want to be pleasant and helpful. The word “no” can sound harsh or unwilling.

And you know what? It’s okay to have limits. It’s okay to be inflexible sometimes.

I made a change to advocate for my time because, let’s face it, most people will squeeze in fifteen minutes with you if they can, and those little meetings start to fill your calendar pretty fast.

I’ve learned that it’s okay to say no.

No, I don’t have time for a quick phone call today, can we find another time?

No, I’m not available to go to lunch so you can pick my brain.

No, I cannot attend four volunteer events this month.

No, I can’t afford to go to that concert with you, but thanks for the invitation.

Understand your own time needs. Are your meetings squished so close together that you’re going to be late to all of them if each runs over just a few minutes? Or, did you really need to get to the gym to decompress but booked a dinner instead?

Be respectful of your own time. Know that other people will not be offended if you need to reschedule a meeting or social hour, but remember to be respectful of their time, too.


may 1 15, 15:00
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